So begins a new session of 5 1/2 weeks of fury! Yep you got it 2 more classes underway and I'm so excited.  So how does one juggle being a single parent, working, keeping up with children's activities, doing school work, and everything else a single parent is responsible for? Well truth is it's not easy so what is your tricks to the trade?

Bullying STOPS With ME

I hear many of my friends and my children's friends talk about bullying and cyber bullying and how it is bothering them or that they or someone they know is being bullied. Since I have vowed to let bullying stop with me I felt to write this about bullying. 

Bullying and cyber-bullying is a large problem that affects everyone everywhere. The truth of the matter is bullying and cyber-bullying is not limited to any specific age group or gender. To define bullying and cyber-bullying is almost the same but I want to define them separately. Bullying is unwanted aggressive behavior that involves real or perceived power imbalance such as size or popularity and behavior that is repeated or has the potential to be repeated over time. Actions such as making threats; spreading rumors; attacking some physically, emotionally, verbally; excluding someone from a group or activity on purpose; fighting; name calling; teasing. Hurting another person to get something or gain popularity and causing social harm; negative ability to learn. Cyber-bullying is done through electronic devices that can send and receive messages, emails, and social network posts. It is mean messages, emails, and social network posts, rumors sent by email, social network sites, instant messaging, and text messaging. Embarrassing photos and videos; sending rumors, mean, or threatening emails, instant messages, text messages, social network posts and sending it to other people via emails, text messages, instant messaging, and social network posts. It also includes breaking into someone’s email, instant messaging, or social networking accounts and bullying others while pretending to be that person.

Bullying itself is horrible to its victims but cyber-bullying is extreme. It occurs in the home and strips away the safe secure feeling a home offers. Harsher things are said than what would be said in person. It is more degrading due to the mass number of people that can be reached through electronic technology. Cyber-bullying can have long-lasting damaging effects on the victims because they can hide behind screen names and email addresses that do not identify who they are. It is in this not knowing that can add to the victim’s torment and lead to insecurity. Bullying of any kind can greatly impact a victim’s socialization ability, drop in grades, drop in work performance, low self-esteem, and change in interests, jobs, and depression.

Everyone is affected by bullying; the person being bullied, the bully, and the witnesses of bullying. While everyone is a potential victim of bullying there are some people who are more likely to be bullied. Such people include lesbians; gays; bisexuals; transgender; have disabilities; special healthcare needs; socially isolated; insecure; different in size, race, religion, interests; physically weak; emotionally weak; seek approval; won’t tell on their bullies.

Now that we know what bullying is and some groups of people it affects; would you be able to recognize someone who is being bullied? Here are a few signs that could indicate a person is being bullied: unexplainable injuries; lost or destroyed clothing, books, paperwork, electronics, jewelry; frequent headaches and stomach aches; feeling sick or faking illnesses; change in eating habits such as skipping meals, binge eating; coming home from school or work hungry due to not eating; difficulty sleeping; frequent nightmares; declining grades or work performance; loss of interest in school or work; not wanting to go to school or work; sudden loss of friends; avoidance of social situations; loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities; feelings of helplessness; decreased self-esteem; depression; self-destructive behaviors; running away from home; harming self; talking about suicide; withdrawal; bruises; need for extra money or supplies; use of violent behavior to protect themselves or to get revenge on their bullies. How would you identify a person who is the bully? Here are a few things to keep in mind: gets into physical or verbal fights; has friends who bullies; are increasingly aggressive; gets in trouble frequently; has unexplained extra money or new belongings; blames others for their problems; does not accept responsibility for their actions; are over competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity; do poorly in school or on the job; drink alcohol, smoke, abuse drugs; commit crimes; lacks empathy; has no sympathy for others; values aggression and aggressive behavior; likes to be in charge; an arrogant winner and a sore looser; fights frequently with siblings; and is very impulsive.

It is obvious that bullying is a fast growing problem in our society. What can we do to stop it? We actually can do lots of things. We can model positive ways to make friends; set clear rules for behavior and monitor interactions carefully; take complaints seriously; find out why someone is bullying (often there is a trigger such as being sad, angry, lonely, insecure, major changes in home, school, or work); is there difficulty making and keeping friends; don’t encourage fighting rather help find non-violent ways to deal with bullies; help those around you build self-confidence and self-esteem; help solve problems without resorting to violence; support and participate in bullying prevention programs; have a time of family conversation and ask everyone about their day, giving them time to tell everything that happened good and bad and their concerns; say I’m sorry when necessary; take responsibility for your words and actions verbally, physically, and electronically. So what does the law say about bullying? State and federal laws define bullying-like behaviors as hazing, harassment, and stalking. There are many ways to get help. First and foremost, call 911 in emergency situations, the National Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255; contact a counselor or other mental health services; if happening on a school campus contact a teacher, counselor, principle, superintendent, State Department of Education, US Department Education office for Civil Rights, US Department of Justice Civil Rights Division; online visit www.cyberbullying.us  and www.wiredsafety.com. Do you see your child, family member, friend, co-worker, and boss, anyone you know or even yourself in any of the descriptions? If so do the right thing and let bullying stop with you! It is hard to take the first step but once help is received we can all be on the way to healing. What will you do to stop bullying around you?

References used:

www.stopbullying.gov

www.ncpc.org

A New Adventure

I am starting a new adventure with my blog. I have been asked by friends to share my unique techniques for dealing with life's situations. I wasn't sure at first but after praying God impressed upon me to use HIS blessings in my life to help those around me so that is what I am going to do. Thank you for your requests and prompting me to make this blog happen.